Ponderous

Ain't feeling too good now and the gloomy weather for the past two or three days or so certainly isn't helping. Didn't sleep enough last night, having had to wake up early to book in for duty (which mind you, is an almost complete waste of time in the office). Rather lonely you see, even after an exciting game of table soccer with the other orderlies. Somehow even in this tried frame of mind, I just can't seem to sleep. Or get rest. Everytime I close my eyes, I start to think about things. About anything and everything. I don't know.

Your response sorta left me dumbfounded as to how to respond. Or how to receive such a reaction. I don't know if I should feel sad, happy, relieved, worried. Confused? Definitely. It's a wait-and-see kinda attitude I'm having now. But that doesn't help me. It still troubles me, and the few others who still listen to me talking about the same thing over and over again.

Maybe I shouldn't think too much. Then again, it's been bothering me for over a year now and things are getting a little too much to bear. Really hope matters get resolved before the pot of emotions and suppressed feelings boils over and affects me even more drastically than it ever has.

I'll try to get some rest now.